It certainly is a Mother’s Day like none of us could have ever predicted. For me, I’m spending it trying to avoid my two sons. No, this is certainly not how I expected Mother’s Day to unfold. I’m sick and awaiting testing to discover if I have contracted COVID19.

On March 18th, I rang my GP with my symptoms and was then referred for testing. Now 5 days later, I’m still waiting to hear when I’ll be tested.

Until I know if I have COVID19, I need to self-isolate – something which is impossible to do as a lone parent carer of a disabled child. So, until I know one way or the other, and since I can’t self-isolate, I’m limiting my time with both of the boys – something that is tearing me up as a mother and is particularly difficult for my youngest son who wants nothing more than to snuggle with me on the couch and watch a film together.

On March 18th, it was also the 30th anniversary of my mother’s death. Now 5 days later, missing my own mom hits me hard as I can’t spend the time I want with my own children while I await that test.

Until I know if I have COVID19, I feel like I’m walking on hopes of a future as fragile as egg shells, wondering if I’ll have another 30 years with Declan; wondering if I actually do have COVID19, and wondering if have I done enough to spare Brendan Bjorn from contracting it, too, knowing such a deadly virus would be more than his fragile body could fight off.

Yes, it’s a Mother’s Day unlike any other for all of us. We just need to keep holding out hope for next Mother’s Day that we will still have all of those around us whom we love more than life itself. For me, it’s my two precious sons…those two sons down the hallway, isolated in their own rooms.

Stay well. Stay safe. Stay Home.